Walking Together

"If you want to walk fast walk alone, if you want to walk far walk together" -- African Proverb

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Leadership and Garage Sales

Today has been our family's sale (with contributions from a few others).  We weren't very prepared for it: we didn't do the go-through-each-room-in-the-house and get-rid-of-everything-we-can routine.  Maybe we'll do that next year.

But yesterday my wife and I went through a lot of stuff, and last night I set up, indoor at our church.  We were going to do the parking lot and have multiple families participate, but the weather forecast was chancy and we haven't been organized enough lately to really pull the latter together.  (I need not point out that after about 11.30 a.m. it's been a beautiful, sunny day, but there is no way I'm moving everything outside.)

Sales like this are interesting.  You see a whole different side of people.  I often say that I love helping people move, because when you start helping them pack or move or unpack you get to know what they are really like: you see that they have kept their elementary school claywork (which usually can't truthfully be called pottery) or their mug collection from all 50 states or their book and CD collection.

Hosting a sale gives you similar insights.  You can watch people's eyes as they scan the mounds of items, looking for just that one item that will jump out at them.  For one woman it's a book with buggy frog eyes, for one man it's playing with the toy lawnmower and smiling at the thought of playing with it with his son, for a kid it's grabbing a toy -- any toy -- and loudly proclaiming that she wants it.

I had two favorite customers today, so I'll share briefly about them.

The first was a former coworker of mine.  She, her husband, and their two kids drove about 30ish minutes to come visit, with the sale as the excuse.  And they found a lot of things they liked, I'm glad to report.  But Dannie used something going on in my life as a connection point, a chance to share an experience with me.  And next time I go to her house, you better believe I'll be looking to spot the things she and Bryan bought today.  :)

The second was a woman who came in with her three daughters, ages 8-14 maybe.  They looked around for a bit and didn't seem interested, but then she spotted some picture frames and started sorting through them.  Meanwhile her girls had opened one of the games (Whoonu) and were looking it over.  "What are you looking at?" she said, somewhat sharply.  Then her tone changed. "Oh, look, it's Chutes and Ladders! I used to play that all the time."  After she was done shopping, I said, "How would you like to have Chutes and Ladders for free, too?"  She and her girls were very excited, and she said thanks several times.

Both these stories illustrate what I think is one of the things that separates good leaders from not-so-good is this individuation: the ability to see each person as a person, and to understand, respect and honor them as an individual.  It's too easy -- and never works -- to see any group (employees, team members, family, etc) as monolithic, as the same.  Treating people equally does not mean treating people the same: I must adjust the words I use and the feeling I put into those words, the actions I take, to best show I'm on their side, that I am with them.

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