One of the most interesting facets of my movement away from my well-paying job into directing and co-directing two different nonprofits is the uncertainty of income.
You'll note I didn't say the absence of income. I am quite confident that we will have income sufficient to cover our needs. I am, however, uncertain where it will come from.
I had many conversations with people from my old job, from church, through the nonprofits where I serve on the board, from my contacts in the community, my neighbors, and my family. Everyone I talk with, it seems, has one central question: how will you pay your bills? (Closely followed by: what about health insurance? That's another blog post for another day.)
My answer is as simple as it is hard. I believe the Lord will provide to pay the bills. If indeed he has called me, called us as a couple and a family, to do what we are setting out to do, then how could I do otherwise than to trust him? I'm reminded of Psalm 20.7: "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." In my early 20s I trusted this way, but somehow over the past 15 years that seems to have changed. Now I'm getting back to it.
Many don't believe me about security and trusting. But I recently, on many folks' recommendations, started listening to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University talks. There is much sense in there, I agree ... but to me, it sure seems like human wisdom and not God's plan. Let me briefly explain.
Ramsey talks about saving to create "financial security." How is this different from trusting in horses and chariots? Am I really to save money so that I will be secure? And how much money is "security"? As John D Rockefeller once famously said when asked how much was enough: "Just a little more." No amount of money is ever enough; there is always something more we want, something more we want to do. And even if we could reach a set amount ($5k? $10k? $1m?) where are we going to draw that definition? Shouldn't we be going to Jesus to see what he would have us do with our money?
I'm not saying saving is a bad idea, but when I save so that I have "security" I make it a human, Pharisaic rule. Does want me to be "secure" in my finances, or in his provision? Does he really ask me to "build wealth"? To "pay myself first"? Is it more important for me to own my own home, for me to have $5k in the bank ... or is it more important to use all I have so that others might have food, water, clothing, shelter, opportunity?
I'll continue to process this topic over time. I currently think and speak like only a black-and-white new convert can. I have thoughts of selling all I have and giving it all to the poor, trusting in God to provide for my needs in the future. Are we all called to do that? No, I suppose not ... but I bet some of us are. And I bet many others of us are called to take in, to provide for, those who do.
Where is your security today? In your possessions? Your bank account? Your job, which provides that income and (likely) insurance? Or are you trusting in the Lord to take care of things regardless of your job, income, housing, and bank statuses? May we learn better how to follow the one true God.
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